Some content and action steps attributed to CoachU, Inc.
A worldwide coach training company.
This week’s focus is about boundaries. Defining what are healthy boundaries and the benefits you reap, including the respect of others will be explained here.
When you extend boundaries and do the work required, you attract similar people who have respect for themselves; among many other positive life enhancements.
What are Boundaries?
Having boundaries is the space extension you place around you to prevent needy or non-nourishing people and situations from entering your defined space so that you can spend your time fulfilling your needs, wants and desires. People and certain situations can either enhance or limit you. Boundaries are essential to becoming a healthy adult.
Make your boundaries huge:
Those who care and love you will understand if you make bigger boundaries and more boundaries than you think you need. You can always adjust them later. Be greedy and be strong. When you have big boundaries, eventually those boundaries become automatic. Your temperament will be more consistent. Others will test your boundaries; this is where being strong is important.
TEN STEPS TO SETTING BOUNDARIES
1. Understand that boundaries are essential for you.
2. Be willing to educate others on how to respect your new boundaries.
3. Be persistent but don’t punish others if they’ve forgotten your boundary. Just be persistent.
4. Make a list of 10 things that people may no longer do around you, do to you, or say to you.
5. Sit down with each person involved and share with him/her your process. Gain their agreement in honoring your new boundary.
6. Insist that every person in your life deliver their comments in positive ways. No more digs, make-funs, depreciating remarks, criticisms-no matter who or what the situation may be.
7. Create a four-step plan of action whenever someone violates your boundaries.
Example of a four step action:
a. Inform them of what they are doing.
b. Request that they stop immediately.
c. Demand that they stop.
d. Walk away without sarcasm or nasty get-even comments.
8. Make a list of 10 ways you are violating others’ boundaries.
9. Stop violating the boundaries on that list.
10. Reward & congratulate those who are respecting your boundaries.
Before you know it…
Your extended boundaries will attract people who have a similar respect for themselves. You will have more room in which to grow because you are not being drained or violated. You will have a consistent temperament. You will eliminate fears.
Next week’s online newsletter will cover the topic of finding solutions to establishing boundaries. Specific examples of relate-able boundary-less situations will be covered.
Subscribers receive additional self-assessments when it relates to the topic. Subscribers also receive a no-strings attached one hour complimentary coaching session on any challenge you may want to present. The subscription is free and offers an opt out if you find you wish to discontinue.
Join us today or visit again next week for the online version.
Until next time…
Your replies, questions and responses are welcome and encouraged. You may leave a reply by scrolling to the replies section at the bottom of the newsletter or contact me by visit the contact page within the site .
Remember to visit the Print Strategies page under All About You tab on this site, for information on a life changing assessment and the subsequent coaching about your best self, shadow self traits, your unconscious motivator (what you strive for/ what you give to the world) as well as what you seek to avoid.
Until next time… visit soon
Welcome to Freedom Life Coaching Company’s Newsletter
The newsletter was delayed this week due to the 4th of July holiday. I hope yours was fantastic. As you celebrate freedom, this week’s topic is about that subject, freedom from your “to- do list”.
The answer is yes, but it takes a little effort. Do you ever get completely through a to-do list, or does it continually keep expanding? Agreeably a to-do list is useful and helpful for work related issues, but your personal life does not need to revolve around a list of to-dos.
The task here is to eliminate your personal to-do list. You are probably thinking, in today’s world how could I possibly stop using a personal to-do list, in a world of black berry’s and day timers?
Today’s newsletter will reveal some helpful tips and suggestions to eliminate that ever growing list. The end result is to craft systems that handle these lists and then eliminate them forever.
For birthdays, dinners and social events, doctor visits, your children’s activities and the like, you want to automate. You can use a wall calendar, a birthday book, or your computer that sets reminders and emails you or calls you prior to important dates.
There are many inexpensive services that have been recently created, such as Send out Cards, an automated service that sends birthday greetings and more at a fraction of the cost of retail.
Outlook and many email systems offer calendars that when set, send you reminders of important appointments, meetings and offers task reminders.
When you think of something that you have to do, stop and ask yourself why you have to do it. Maybe you really don’t. Sometimes it involves picking something up, making a call, or doing a task, all of which can potentially be handled a different way, such as delegating.
Instead of waiting until a birthday or other special occasion is upon you, purchasing birthday cards and presents in batches, perhaps three times a year for the coming three months.
Online banking, automatic bill payment, locating a dry cleaner that delivers and picks up (they exist) are just some other list eliminating ideas.
Some of you may feel hiring someone to run errands; make calls and other tasks may not be in your financial grasp. If this is the case then you are under-earning. Use some of the time you will save in doing the personal errands to better your skills, job, pay and your life.
The best way to toss out your to-do list is to start living without it. Much of what you have on your list is great and ambitious stuff, but it runs you. You have come to rely on the list of to-dos. It’s far easier to set a system in place that you design than to allow for an ever-expanding list of demands that you have created.
Realize that to eliminate your to-do list may require some creativity. Eventually you will settle into a system that works for you without list making.
ACTION STEPS
~ Take a few moments to think through how you usually accomplish the tasks on your to do list. Use your creativity and consider how can you do things differently?
~Write down some innovative ways you can toss the list and still do all you need to do, but without the burden
~Follow your new systems, and be flexible in using trial and error. Be willing to tweak your system when necessary.
~Systems once in place, work themselves. Think systems when creating a list free handling of your personal list of to-do’s.
Reward yourself and track your progress.
______I have successfully accomplished needed tasks without a to do list for 1 day
______ I have successfully accomplished needed tasks without a to do list for 1 week
_______ I have successfully accomplished needed tasks without a to-do list for 1 month.
Subscribers receive additional benefits such as self-assessments that offer valuable insight when they are applicable to the weekly topic. Sign up and receive weekly newsletters which are always focused on you. Subscribers also receive a no strings attached, complimentary one hour coaching session on the topic of your choosing.
Freedom Life Coaching Company follows strict privacy rules about your information and never sells, shares, trades or group emails keeping your information private.
Time Waster/Time Drain |
Solution |
Weekly Grocery Shopping |
Shopping Monthly or Quarterly |
A business networking group that isn’t bringing me any business |
Survey my colleagues in my field for input on best way to obtain referrals. Quit my current networking group |
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