The FLC Express

Last week’s newsletter covered one action step to strengthen your personal foundation.

By now you should have your list of tolerations.

To review action step one, visit the archived

newsletter for the topic on Personal Foundations.

One of the most profound things you can do for yourself is remove your tolerations. The point is to not just temporarily remove them, but create a permanent and sustainable removal. The benefits to permanently handle the things you put up with far out weigh any commitment you  must make up front to resolve them once and for all.

The list of tolerations you have prepared from last weeks newsletter, may range from unwanted clutter, chipped paint, an unkempt garden, a loose door knob, a messy car to larger tolerations such as interruptions, disruptions, unresolved business and disrespectful people or a lack of money.

Whatever you may be tolerating, it’s important to take ownership of your list. Ask yourself: Why am I putting up with this? What is the benefit to allowing these tolerations to continue?

Selecting Your Tolerations

Your list may seem daunting, but by looking at two or three of your easiest to resolve tolerations first, helps you to understand quickly what it means to resolve them.  Look at those things on your list that divert your attention, even for a moment.  The tolerations that make you sigh. When you sigh in the context of putting up with something, it’s a sign of a drain on your energy.

Taking your simplest two or three tolerations and then asking the tough questions of each of them, will be a great starting point. Above all be honest with your answers.

Creating a Toleration Free Vision

What would it be like to no longer have this drain on your energy? Close your eyes and imagine that the item you have selected as a toleration no longer zaps you. Write your vision down, include how you will feel to be rid of this toleration permanently. What impact will this have on me as well as others? Who do I have to be to make this a permanent toleration free item?

Strategizing and Planning in Advance

You know where you are today with your tolerations, now it’s time to strategize and plan. For each of the tolerations you have selected, ask a few questions of your self, (where it applies to your toleration).

Asking to Reveal:

• What boundaries need to be set?

• What conversations need to take place?

• What resources must I need to locate?

• What equipment or tools do I need to obtain to be able to eliminate this toleration?

• If I have to tolerate this what is required of me to no longer feel a drain on my time or energy?

• Do I need to lower or raise my standards in order to be free of this toleration?

By asking pertinent relevant questions helps start the wheels in motion and enables you to craft a plan of action. Feel free to add additional questions of each toleration. It helps to write down your answers because you are literally brainstorming on paper.

Once you have answered the tough questions, you are ready to set a date for implementation.

Example: With permission from one of my coaching client’s the following is his experience with tolerating procrastination and how he resolved one of his tolerations using this technique…

“I would procrastinate about anything that had to do with keeping things in an organized fashion.  One of my biggest concerns was my garage.  Since I work in the building trade it was important to locate tools and supplies in an efficient manner.

The drain on energy and time trying to locate a tool each time I needed it, would make me angry and frustrated. I was looking at what I saw has a monumental task. Instead of  figuring out a way to eliminate this toleration, procrastination would kick in and the frustration remained.

Through coaching, I answered the tough questions about the reasons I was putting up with this. By creating a vision for what it might feel like to no longer experience this kind of drain on my time and energy to realizing I really just needed to have more resources, better shelving, a design for more efficiency.  It didn’t seem so impossible. I put his plan in motion scheduling small deadlines for myself.  Thinking through the details in advance of implementing allowed me to actually get excited about the prospect of my vision.

That was a year ago.  I have a more than adequate handle on everything contained in my garage.  I have a commitment schedule for keeping it organized and have continued this process for a little over a year now.  I no longer spend time digging and searching for what I need.  What a relief to know, that what I need is right where it’s supposed to be.”

Make an Appointment with Yourself

Setting a date and an implementation time line is a great way to commit without getting overwhelmed.  Prior to tackling the toleration, having the tools, resources, conversation, boundaries defined.  Making design plans and purchases (where relevant) in advance of implementing has a greater success rate of permanence.  If you eliminate a toleration too quickly, it’s possible that in a week or two the whole toleration is back upon you once more.

A final step to putting your toleration removal plan to work, is a plan to maintain your new boundary, the new attitude you will have about a becoming toleration free, in short your system.

How will you manage going forward?

What agreements must you make to have your toleration gone permanently?

Finally, how will you hold yourself accountable?

Maintenance and Accountability

To ensure you are permanently removing your toleration it needs to become second nature. When you are able to implement your plan for three consecutive weeks or more and you are following your system as you have set forth, you can expect that the toleration will be removed.

Action Step Two /Recap

1. Select 2-3 tolerations that when handled quickly will give you back your time and energy.

2. Create a vision for yourself. Write it down.

3. Make an advanced plan or system. Ask the tough questions. Establish a time line and put in place the needed resources, plan the conversations, determine your boundaries, make an appointment with yourself

4. Hold yourself accountable to your action plan, or identify a trusted person who you could rely on to check in with you on your commitment to your plan.

5. Maintain your system or plan for at least three consecutive weeks, to establish your new system as a habit or way of life.

Next week’s newsletter will cover establishing personal boundaries.

Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter.  I appreciate your comments and questions.  If you would like to respond you may do so by posting  in the comment section below this newsletter.  You may also choose to respond by private email at sbirkam@gmail.com or Sue@freedomlifecoachingcompany.com .

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Freedom Life Coaching Company is devoted to assisting people in quickly moving forward to living to their fullest potential. Coaching can be career, relationship or personal goal focused.

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