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Disarm your insecurity alarm

We have all experienced times of insecurity; that creeping feeling of doubt in certain areas of our lives.  But when that unsafe feeling rules our life and keeps us from our gifts and from our best self, well it is like someone set off our insecurity alarm. It screams to us in any number of ways; retreat, arm yourself, don your shield and sometimes it tells us to attack .

If you are old enough to remember the television show  “Lost in Space” the robot would always warn Dr. Smith and the others by repeating in his robot voice “warning, warning, danger, danger”. Does your internal insecurity alarm do this?

In order to understand insecurity versus security it is important to learn the distinction between the two. Merriam Webster defines being secure as: freedom from danger, freedom from fear or anxiety; you can check for yourself here .  and Merriam Webster defines insecurity to mean; feeling deficient, not adequately guarded, not firmly fastened, or on shaky ground. Lets take the word insecure one step further and break up the word insecurity by defining the word “in”. What “in ” means is: in possession of, within.  These definitions are important because  what the word is telling us is that  insecurity is found only from within.  No thing , no person, no place or circumstance is responsible for our insecurity or security.  That is a great thing to know because it would be next to impossible  to change  our situations or people so we can be suitably secure and safe.

Start with 5 “in” questions when your insecurity alarm rings

  • What is it about this person, this situation or this set of circumstances that make me feel inferior?
  • Is it possible to feel inferior?
  • What would it take for me to feel safer or surer of myself? What would I need?
  • How is my current situation, current safety with people, or current circumstance reflective of my past?
  • In the present moment, in this present circumstance, with these people, how am I unsafe?

The more you can be aware and conscious of when your insecurity alarm is screaming the quicker you can calm it down by asking yourself a few questions. The more you practice the easier it will become. I also recommend in any insecure situation a simple affirmation repeating for four minutes  “I am safe” either just before you enter into the situation you are feeling insecure about and/ or every day until you reprogram the thoughts that created the unsafe feelings to begin with. If you are still having difficulty you may have to revisit some areas in your past in order to get clear of the belief that you are anything but magnificent. You may also need to forgive all situations that created this unsafe feeling, all people associated with making you feel less than secure. It is time to let that belief go, it isn’t serving you well.

I am really excited about my book Rewind, Rewriting your life script, currently in the editing phase. I discuss the insecurities I had  in just the process of writing the book and the steps I took to overcome that. Rewind is an abstract autobiography of my life looking at all the ill serving learned beliefs and how I got past them. I am really excited to share my journey with all of you very soon.

If you enjoyed this post, I would love your comments. If you have some additional advice to share I would appreciate leaving your wisdom on the topic of insecurity in the comment area. I will respond to all posts and questions. I have a few opening right now for new clients. To test the coaching process and to find out if it is indeed for you, I invite you to experience a no-strings attached complimentary coaching session of one hour in length . You can inquire about scheduling this call by visiting the contact page by clicking here.

Get your one big need met in 30 days

Welcome to Freedom Life Coaching Company Newsletter

How to Identify & Satisfy

Your One Big Need in the Next 30 Days

As explained in the last newsletter posted, when you get your needs met you are happier, you attract positive people and opportunities instead of repelling them. This newsletter will focus on satisfying your one big need  in the next thirty days… becoming need-less.

Three steps to consider…

1. Reduce the need for the need. Having a  strong personal foundation, which has been the focus for the past several weekly  newsletter, will upgrade your life and systems so you need less of everything. Continue to work on the action steps that have been provided in the past newsletters to continue to upgrade your personal foundation while identifying you one big need.

2. Expose your need and set up an automatic system to get your need met. An automatic satisfaction system or ASS (I love that acronym) occurs without having to recreated it every time.  When you shamelessly ask for all that you need, you created the solution and the need itself diminishes, because you are exposing it.  You are including others in the exposing of the need and they become your support or partner in knowing exactly what you need. It’s no longer hidden but out in the open. This alone supports fixing your need, simply by bringing it out in the open. It’s difficult to get a secret need met.

3. a) If your need involves others, family, friends, co-workers and in getting your need met requires others to respond or react differently to you or your situation; you must admit your need and have a direct conversation about your specific need. Most people are very willing to meet your needs if you’re direct and responsible about it. It’s the covert or unconscious behavior that turns people off. Present your need in such a way that is is a strong request. An example of a strong request may sound something like this: ” I need time each day to myself, how can you support me in getting this time each day?”

3 b) If you have a need that depends solely on the actions, reactions and attitudes of others, you may need to review the need and discover alternative ways of meeting it. Do not depend on others solely to meet your needs. You find the system that will satisfy them by asking “what is would take for your full cooperation?”

Action Plan

1) Pick or identify the one need that would have the greatest impact for you if it became something you need-less of.

2) Remember, if your need involves others, automate, expose and make strong requests. Arrange to have a direct conversation.

3.) If you are having trouble identifying a need, ask a trusted family member or friend to tell you what it is that they thin you need most. Asking an observer who sees you and your time and energy drains can be very enlightening and provide a great way to begin to become need-less.

Please respond…

Your response and questions are always welcome. You may reply in the comment/ reply area at the bottom of this newsletter. You may also send me an email if you have questions . My contact information is available by visiting the contact page on this website.

Next week…

Next week’s topic is about setting boundaries. If you would like to subscribe this newsletter is sent weekly. It’s one page and a quick read and always provided steps to remedy or begin to solve some of life’s challenges.

Coaching provides accountability and a deeper connection to you and your individual life challenges. To obtain coaching information you may contact me.


Subscribers to this newsletter received a need-less assessment which is valuable in assisting to identify your needs. Subscribing to this newsletter offers you the opportunity to receive assessments periodically at no charge to you. Self assessments help to assist in accelerating your self development.

Until next week…