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personal development

Your personal bill of rights. Yes. That’s right.

It’s the day after Christmas and a fairly blustery day. I had choices this morning. I could have stayed in the comfort of  the warmth of shelter or brave the cold and venture out.

Most people who know me would have guessed I would have chosen the warmth of shelter over braving the icy wind and icy streets, as winter is not my thing at all. I’m glad I chose to experience a walk under steel grey skies and crunching ice and snow. I set off  on my frozen journey feeling especially happy that I could feel the cold on my face.

With no other intention but to experience the aliveness of cold, my thoughts turned to becoming grounded with nature . I imagined roots growing from the bottom of my feet into the ground below, hooking me to the earth. In this grounding and being present to the sky, the earth and the cold I had  a sudden incredible insight. At least I think so, and I’m hoping you do as well.

2012 has been such an incredible year, full of twists and turns, loss and gains and all coming at the speed of light. Many others that I know personally also have experienced this same wild ride. Have you?

I have been chanting affirmations daily to counter act any fears and worries I have had on a daily basis. Being a practiced observer of my thoughts and feelings has taught me to shift my thinking surrounding any thoughts that are not of my highest self or for my highest good.  Chanting  affirmations daily has helped to transform those anxious feelings about the future, the unknowns and have brought me back to center at least for the moment that I am experiencing those thoughts and emotions.

Today on my frosty walk however, a thought surfaced which turned into a series of one line sentences which turned into my own personal “bill of rights“. “What do I have a right to have in my life?“, I asked myself.  The answers like water came flooding in rather easily. More easily than setting annual resolutions that tell me what I “should” do differently. You all know how effective those tricky should s and shouldn’t s are, don’t you?

I also thought about all the things that had transpired in 2012 and despite my positive frame of mind, affirmations, meditation, studies, still my life seems fairly unstable and uncertain. Thinking about the practice of affirmations and not wanting to lose faith in all that I believe is true for me, I wondered what more I need to do to become fully actualized, to live my truth.

What do I have a right to have in my life? What do you have a right to have in your life?

So just to get you thinking about your own bill of rights it might be helpful to review what Wikipedia tells us it is : The Bill of Rights is the collective name for the first ten amendments to the United States Constitution. These limitations serve to protect the natural rights of liberty and property. They guarantee a number of personal freedoms, limit the government’s power in judicial and other proceedings, and reserve some powers to the states and the public.

If I were to apply this meaning to my own life I would rewrite this description as such: My personal bill of rights for my life serves to protect me against my limiting thoughts, ego negative self-talk , fear and worry and guaranteeing me unlimited freedom to choose whatever I think I have a right to have.  In addition there isn’t a single thing outside of  myself that can interfere with my personal bill of rights, because I created them and I also create anything that is in opposition of them.

This mornings walk and  insight helped me to understand better why endless  chanting  of affirmations, meditation and staying present in the now in order to observe my thoughts and emotions have yielded some results, but at the same time  the practice is like washing your hair, shampoo, rinse and repeat. What is creating these blocks? What is keeping me from accessing what is rightfully mine to have?

Don’t get me wrong I love affirming. It serves to immediately shift me from any negative thoughts I may have about myself, others and my life. However, I’d like to share what I came up with on this mornings freezing cold, crunchy grounding  walk; my personal “Bill of Rights”.

My hope is that whomever reads this will craft their own personal bill of rights that they can use in place of weak resolutions and vows to change. The reason I say this is because  I believe you have a right as well as every person on the planet has a right to experience their life according to what you think you deserve, what is rightfully yours to have.  Consider carefully what you think you deserve because this is what is creating  your current life experience.

This is what I came up with for my personal “bill of rights” These are mine. What are yours?

 

My personal bill of rights:

I Sue Birkam as a member of this universe, this divine place where all things are possible if I choose to deserve them, have hereby today created my personal bill of rights. I will remember these and read them often when I forget who I really am.  I am free.

  • I have the right to be happy.
  • I have the right to be creative.
  • I have the right to be loved and be loving.
  • I have the right to forgiveness and to forgive.
  • I have the right to be successful.
  • I have the right to know my value and worth and to eliminate anything that is in opposition of  that.
  • I have the right to be free and live in full expression of this freedom.
  • I have the right to prosper and use my abundance for myself and to share my abundance in service to others.
  • I have the right to share my gifts and talents.
  • I have the right to my emotions, passions and dreams.
  • I have the right to experience receiving as well as giving.
  • I have the right to be in full acceptance of myself, the good, the bad and the ugly.
  • I have the right to be in full acceptance of others, the good, the bad and the ugly.
  • I have the right to be healthy and to do the things I need to do to remain in good health.
  • I have the right to be beautiful and to not allow what others define as beauty to affect how I think about myself.
  • I have the right to be cherished, respected and considered.
  • I have the right to be visible, to be seen and heard.
  • I have the right to clarity in my life and when I receive clarity I have the right to choose differently no matter what that clarity provides for me, bravely.
  • I have the right to the freedom to be me.
  • I have the right to stumble, fall and make big mistakes.
  • I have the right to laugh at my mistakes and to begin again.
  • I have the right to personal expression of my feelings and beliefs without being judged.
  • I have the equal right to treat myself the way I treat and give to others, with kindness, love, non-judgement, acceptance and with gratitude for all that I am and have become.
  • I have the right to surround myself with people who are supportive, caring and loving.
  • I have the right to amend my bill of rights and to expand it at anytime

I am thinking that if  I can live by this personal bill of rights in 2013, I’m guaranteed to have every thing I deserve come my way. I also think that I have a choice to abide by my “bill of rights” or understand what an injustice it would be to myself and others to ignore it.

What is on your personal bill of rights? Are you willing to create your own and begin to manifest what is your right to have? I sincerely hope you feel inspired and moved enough to provide feedback here and at the very least consider crafting your own 2013 bill of rights or at least think about what you deserve.

Disarm your insecurity alarm

We have all experienced times of insecurity; that creeping feeling of doubt in certain areas of our lives.  But when that unsafe feeling rules our life and keeps us from our gifts and from our best self, well it is like someone set off our insecurity alarm. It screams to us in any number of ways; retreat, arm yourself, don your shield and sometimes it tells us to attack .

If you are old enough to remember the television show  “Lost in Space” the robot would always warn Dr. Smith and the others by repeating in his robot voice “warning, warning, danger, danger”. Does your internal insecurity alarm do this?

In order to understand insecurity versus security it is important to learn the distinction between the two. Merriam Webster defines being secure as: freedom from danger, freedom from fear or anxiety; you can check for yourself here .  and Merriam Webster defines insecurity to mean; feeling deficient, not adequately guarded, not firmly fastened, or on shaky ground. Lets take the word insecure one step further and break up the word insecurity by defining the word “in”. What “in ” means is: in possession of, within.  These definitions are important because  what the word is telling us is that  insecurity is found only from within.  No thing , no person, no place or circumstance is responsible for our insecurity or security.  That is a great thing to know because it would be next to impossible  to change  our situations or people so we can be suitably secure and safe.

Start with 5 “in” questions when your insecurity alarm rings

  • What is it about this person, this situation or this set of circumstances that make me feel inferior?
  • Is it possible to feel inferior?
  • What would it take for me to feel safer or surer of myself? What would I need?
  • How is my current situation, current safety with people, or current circumstance reflective of my past?
  • In the present moment, in this present circumstance, with these people, how am I unsafe?

The more you can be aware and conscious of when your insecurity alarm is screaming the quicker you can calm it down by asking yourself a few questions. The more you practice the easier it will become. I also recommend in any insecure situation a simple affirmation repeating for four minutes  “I am safe” either just before you enter into the situation you are feeling insecure about and/ or every day until you reprogram the thoughts that created the unsafe feelings to begin with. If you are still having difficulty you may have to revisit some areas in your past in order to get clear of the belief that you are anything but magnificent. You may also need to forgive all situations that created this unsafe feeling, all people associated with making you feel less than secure. It is time to let that belief go, it isn’t serving you well.

I am really excited about my book Rewind, Rewriting your life script, currently in the editing phase. I discuss the insecurities I had  in just the process of writing the book and the steps I took to overcome that. Rewind is an abstract autobiography of my life looking at all the ill serving learned beliefs and how I got past them. I am really excited to share my journey with all of you very soon.

If you enjoyed this post, I would love your comments. If you have some additional advice to share I would appreciate leaving your wisdom on the topic of insecurity in the comment area. I will respond to all posts and questions. I have a few opening right now for new clients. To test the coaching process and to find out if it is indeed for you, I invite you to experience a no-strings attached complimentary coaching session of one hour in length . You can inquire about scheduling this call by visiting the contact page by clicking here.

Confidence Can be Created

Visualize your     Confidence

Closing my eyes I put myself on a stage and in the back ground is large screen emblazoned with the words “my life”.  There I am standing up straight and confident, my head held high in my best looking outfit, with my best looking hair. Surrounding me are people, some I know and some I will be willing to know. They stand all around me and I welcome them. I am smiling and they are too. There is a warm glow all around me and it radiates from me and expands into the area where all the other familiar and     unfamiliar people are.

My heart beats slow and steady and my palms are dry. I begin to move through the crowded stage as an equal, because I am. Any feelings of lack, feeling lesser than or thoughts of comparing myself to others melt like candle wax and are now running off of me and down the stage. Any limitations I hold  along with the uncertain image I have created, fall away. All the thoughts  that keep me frozen and unable to live the way I would like are now replaced with a knowing in this moment I am enough . I am safe right now.

The people standing with me on the stage of “my life”, now feel an energetic vibration coming from me and treat me as their equal  and I reciprocate in kind. I can be me because that is what I am and that is good enough. With confidence I converse freely moving without fear of the outcome. I am comfortable and confident because  I know that there is no way of predicting the outcome of any experience. I accept that. My confidence soars because I know who I am and I am proud of that. I realize my past and future have nothing what so ever to do with this moment. I am doing my best now, where only NOW matters.

If  you had a Chrystal ball with a solid guarantee of a successful outcome you would….

If you had a Chrystal ball and a guarantee of a successful  outcome, how would your self confidence change? What  would you then create for yourself?  Your need for a guaranteed  result puts you in a “future thinking mode”.  When you find yourself becoming attached to needing to know the results of your actions ahead of time you run the risk of lowered self confidence. When your thoughts are in the future you aren’t living  in your strengths right now, where it matters. How do you learn to remain in the present? Visit this link  for tips on moving  past fear (future thinking )When you are overly attached to needing to know the  outcome of your present situation  before you take action , it actually immobilizes you.This fear then creates the old pattern of lack of confidence and the vicious cycle remains.

Instead detach your self from the outcome and let go of the need to control. Focus your attention and energy so that you can create an aura of a successful outcome in the present. Use your senses to feel, smell, touch and taste successfully accomplishing whatever you are going after. This energy shift then vibrates outward.

What you see and feel is what others see and feel too

Confidence  is drawn from your self image . If you lack knowledge of your own strengths and abilities and your image is only focused on what you lack, your confidence level is projected outward and felt by others as lack. When you project lack in your minds eye you project it outward into every situation of your life. This  lowered confidence state of being  blinds you. Its only goal is protection from perceived pain (past thinking). In this state of being you fail to see what wonderful qualities you do possess.

To test the theory of  how you project your vibes,  remember back to a time when you woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed. In this state of being you may have noticed a chain reaction. The sour you starts off your day and the first thing you know,  you spill your coffee, you can’t find your keys and you get all the red lights. As you drive you notice rude drivers who lay on their horns because you didn’t accelerate fast enough for them. You flip them the finger and become more sour. You essentially carry this “wrong side of the bed” attitude with you through out the day and it spirals out of control. You may hear yourself saying “I can’t wait until this day is over”.  You might complain about how difficult “other people” made your day,  mentally hanging on to each incident, as it continues to build on itself.  In this sour state you are sending out a vibration which keeps attracting in more of the same miserable stuff.  Its the same thing with your confidence level. You vibrate out your emotions. It has nothing whatsoever to do with other people.

The Confidence Tune Up

When your self confidence needs a tune up you could begin with some analysis and questions.  Here are six core confidence questions which may provide a starting point for moving in to a more confident you.

1. When I am lacking confidence are my thoughts focused on the past or future?

2.  If I am focused on the past, what is the evidence that I will receive the same result?

3. If I am focused on the future results of an action I’ve not yet taken, what are the results I think I might get? Are those thoughts based on past thinking or on the present?

4. If I choose to remain in  low self confidence mode how will that affect me in the present?

5. What are some examples where I have been confident with a successful outcome?

6. In my most successful examples when my confidence was high what specifically did I draw on for this successful outcome? Who did I then become?

Self confidence can be created. It requires a commitment and willingness to operate in the present. The opportunity to visualize your most confident self  which sets the confidence vibe in motion. When feeling a lack of confidence it is the perfect place to question your thoughts. Remember to detach from the outcome and stay present in the moment where your strengths can be realized.

I am  interested in your thoughts and feedback concerning  self confidence and any successes or obstacles you may have encountered. Please utilize the reply area below as I respond to all postings. If you or someone you know finds todays post useful please feel free to share. For more information on my coaching services please  visit  the contact page.