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self development

Confidence Can be Created

Visualize your     Confidence

Closing my eyes I put myself on a stage and in the back ground is large screen emblazoned with the words “my life”.  There I am standing up straight and confident, my head held high in my best looking outfit, with my best looking hair. Surrounding me are people, some I know and some I will be willing to know. They stand all around me and I welcome them. I am smiling and they are too. There is a warm glow all around me and it radiates from me and expands into the area where all the other familiar and     unfamiliar people are.

My heart beats slow and steady and my palms are dry. I begin to move through the crowded stage as an equal, because I am. Any feelings of lack, feeling lesser than or thoughts of comparing myself to others melt like candle wax and are now running off of me and down the stage. Any limitations I hold  along with the uncertain image I have created, fall away. All the thoughts  that keep me frozen and unable to live the way I would like are now replaced with a knowing in this moment I am enough . I am safe right now.

The people standing with me on the stage of “my life”, now feel an energetic vibration coming from me and treat me as their equal  and I reciprocate in kind. I can be me because that is what I am and that is good enough. With confidence I converse freely moving without fear of the outcome. I am comfortable and confident because  I know that there is no way of predicting the outcome of any experience. I accept that. My confidence soars because I know who I am and I am proud of that. I realize my past and future have nothing what so ever to do with this moment. I am doing my best now, where only NOW matters.

If  you had a Chrystal ball with a solid guarantee of a successful outcome you would….

If you had a Chrystal ball and a guarantee of a successful  outcome, how would your self confidence change? What  would you then create for yourself?  Your need for a guaranteed  result puts you in a “future thinking mode”.  When you find yourself becoming attached to needing to know the results of your actions ahead of time you run the risk of lowered self confidence. When your thoughts are in the future you aren’t living  in your strengths right now, where it matters. How do you learn to remain in the present? Visit this link  for tips on moving  past fear (future thinking )When you are overly attached to needing to know the  outcome of your present situation  before you take action , it actually immobilizes you.This fear then creates the old pattern of lack of confidence and the vicious cycle remains.

Instead detach your self from the outcome and let go of the need to control. Focus your attention and energy so that you can create an aura of a successful outcome in the present. Use your senses to feel, smell, touch and taste successfully accomplishing whatever you are going after. This energy shift then vibrates outward.

What you see and feel is what others see and feel too

Confidence  is drawn from your self image . If you lack knowledge of your own strengths and abilities and your image is only focused on what you lack, your confidence level is projected outward and felt by others as lack. When you project lack in your minds eye you project it outward into every situation of your life. This  lowered confidence state of being  blinds you. Its only goal is protection from perceived pain (past thinking). In this state of being you fail to see what wonderful qualities you do possess.

To test the theory of  how you project your vibes,  remember back to a time when you woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed. In this state of being you may have noticed a chain reaction. The sour you starts off your day and the first thing you know,  you spill your coffee, you can’t find your keys and you get all the red lights. As you drive you notice rude drivers who lay on their horns because you didn’t accelerate fast enough for them. You flip them the finger and become more sour. You essentially carry this “wrong side of the bed” attitude with you through out the day and it spirals out of control. You may hear yourself saying “I can’t wait until this day is over”.  You might complain about how difficult “other people” made your day,  mentally hanging on to each incident, as it continues to build on itself.  In this sour state you are sending out a vibration which keeps attracting in more of the same miserable stuff.  Its the same thing with your confidence level. You vibrate out your emotions. It has nothing whatsoever to do with other people.

The Confidence Tune Up

When your self confidence needs a tune up you could begin with some analysis and questions.  Here are six core confidence questions which may provide a starting point for moving in to a more confident you.

1. When I am lacking confidence are my thoughts focused on the past or future?

2.  If I am focused on the past, what is the evidence that I will receive the same result?

3. If I am focused on the future results of an action I’ve not yet taken, what are the results I think I might get? Are those thoughts based on past thinking or on the present?

4. If I choose to remain in  low self confidence mode how will that affect me in the present?

5. What are some examples where I have been confident with a successful outcome?

6. In my most successful examples when my confidence was high what specifically did I draw on for this successful outcome? Who did I then become?

Self confidence can be created. It requires a commitment and willingness to operate in the present. The opportunity to visualize your most confident self  which sets the confidence vibe in motion. When feeling a lack of confidence it is the perfect place to question your thoughts. Remember to detach from the outcome and stay present in the moment where your strengths can be realized.

I am  interested in your thoughts and feedback concerning  self confidence and any successes or obstacles you may have encountered. Please utilize the reply area below as I respond to all postings. If you or someone you know finds todays post useful please feel free to share. For more information on my coaching services please  visit  the contact page.

Get your one big need met in 30 days

Welcome to Freedom Life Coaching Company Newsletter

How to Identify & Satisfy

Your One Big Need in the Next 30 Days

As explained in the last newsletter posted, when you get your needs met you are happier, you attract positive people and opportunities instead of repelling them. This newsletter will focus on satisfying your one big need  in the next thirty days… becoming need-less.

Three steps to consider…

1. Reduce the need for the need. Having a  strong personal foundation, which has been the focus for the past several weekly  newsletter, will upgrade your life and systems so you need less of everything. Continue to work on the action steps that have been provided in the past newsletters to continue to upgrade your personal foundation while identifying you one big need.

2. Expose your need and set up an automatic system to get your need met. An automatic satisfaction system or ASS (I love that acronym) occurs without having to recreated it every time.  When you shamelessly ask for all that you need, you created the solution and the need itself diminishes, because you are exposing it.  You are including others in the exposing of the need and they become your support or partner in knowing exactly what you need. It’s no longer hidden but out in the open. This alone supports fixing your need, simply by bringing it out in the open. It’s difficult to get a secret need met.

3. a) If your need involves others, family, friends, co-workers and in getting your need met requires others to respond or react differently to you or your situation; you must admit your need and have a direct conversation about your specific need. Most people are very willing to meet your needs if you’re direct and responsible about it. It’s the covert or unconscious behavior that turns people off. Present your need in such a way that is is a strong request. An example of a strong request may sound something like this: ” I need time each day to myself, how can you support me in getting this time each day?”

3 b) If you have a need that depends solely on the actions, reactions and attitudes of others, you may need to review the need and discover alternative ways of meeting it. Do not depend on others solely to meet your needs. You find the system that will satisfy them by asking “what is would take for your full cooperation?”

Action Plan

1) Pick or identify the one need that would have the greatest impact for you if it became something you need-less of.

2) Remember, if your need involves others, automate, expose and make strong requests. Arrange to have a direct conversation.

3.) If you are having trouble identifying a need, ask a trusted family member or friend to tell you what it is that they thin you need most. Asking an observer who sees you and your time and energy drains can be very enlightening and provide a great way to begin to become need-less.

Please respond…

Your response and questions are always welcome. You may reply in the comment/ reply area at the bottom of this newsletter. You may also send me an email if you have questions . My contact information is available by visiting the contact page on this website.

Next week…

Next week’s topic is about setting boundaries. If you would like to subscribe this newsletter is sent weekly. It’s one page and a quick read and always provided steps to remedy or begin to solve some of life’s challenges.

Coaching provides accountability and a deeper connection to you and your individual life challenges. To obtain coaching information you may contact me.


Subscribers to this newsletter received a need-less assessment which is valuable in assisting to identify your needs. Subscribing to this newsletter offers you the opportunity to receive assessments periodically at no charge to you. Self assessments help to assist in accelerating your self development.

Until next week…