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Living in the Land of Should

Sitting in the land of Should

I’m resolving to be more attentive to my blog postings and website updates.  There, I said it.  When I make a commitment as wide spread as this one you can count on it.

I didn’t want to be typical and talk about New Year resolutions in the typical sense.  We all think about what changes we will make and what needs to happen to make life better, easier and simplified.  When resolutions come from only your perspective they work very well.  If they come from someplace else you are now entering the Land of Should…

Just for a moment I want to take you to a land in which we have all been or currently reside and that is the Land of Should.  If your resolutions take you to this land frequently and you reside there more of the time…please read on.

In the Land of Should the pasture is wide and endless, the streets circle back upon themselves and they never really quite go anywhere except back to the beginning.  This land has been built by well meaning other people, friends, family, neighbors, co workers, significant others, spouses and children.  It also was built by parents who are either alive or have long passed on.  You might be surprised that it is also built by the little voices that we listen to residing in our own mind.  Incidentally these chattering voices can come from the recordings received in our subconscious from any of afore mentioned people.  We can’t discount the effect of the contractors or designers which need to be included in the development of the land of should.  The architect’s and impact of this land includes the media and the messages we agree with.

The street signs in the Land of Should, are carved in a really nice font.  Beware however, as you travel this land that the street names change constantly, oh yes some remain the same but others are added frequently.  This creates confusion when traveling through the landscape of the Land of Should.

The street signs might read… I should lose weight, I should quit smoking, I should call my family more often, I should read more, I should exercise, I should sleep more, I should wake up earlier, I should find a new job, I should be more organized, I should go to church, I should clean my closets, I should eat better… the signs and signals are endless.

The buildings and homes in the Land of Should are very large.  So large that they sink in the ground just a little. The weight of the homes and buildings where all the Should’rs work and live are too heavy for the ground they are built upon.  The peculiar thing about each of these buildings is the addresses start with the words Guilt.  So a typical street address would look something like this: Guilt — I should get organized, Land of Should USA or you may fill in whatever country in which you reside.

As you are lazily driving here with me through the Land of Should, the radio is playing and it breaks for a commercial.  The announcer says “hey people of the Land of Should… how many times have you asked yourself today why should I?”  And more importantly, the announcer asks, “who’s should is it?”  If it’s your should and truly yours, why haven’t you?  Could you take your list of shoulds and turn them into ‘if I wanted to I could?’  If you truly can’t take ownership of your shoulds…should they be there at all?

I’m certain you’ve already resolved to change in 2010.  I urge you to move out of the land of should where the foundation is firmer the streets and directions are clear and you have a solid path for successfully living in alignment with your goals for a simple, fulfilling and happier life.  Just ask yourself the questions above when you either mentally, or verbally say “I should”.  When well meaning friends and family, co-workers and parents tell you, that “you should” let them know that you are eliminating the word from your vocabulary in 2010.  That also means that you too must stop imposing your “shoulds” on everyone else.  Your goals and resolutions have a far greater chance of success if you own them, rather than someone else.

As a coach I often hear the “I should” from client’s.  These statements never pass unchallenged.

If you or someone you know would like to move out of the Land of Should, you can contact me via the contact page on this website.  I have only a few openings for new clients this month.  Stay tuned for more postings, as I mentioned… I have committed to frequent postings.

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