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Is life like a broken record? Starting over again…

This is about starting over again. Not just starting over once, but again and again, if this is you then read on.  This post was prompted by a discussion with my adult son concerning his recent break up with his girlfriend of five years. Our discussion reminded me of my own experience with having to start over (many times) and the very effective way I eventually learned to change that.

Do you ever feel your life seems like a broken record?  Yes, the circumstance might change but the overall theme remains the same.  Whether its relationships, careers or family situations that force you to hear that old familiar bump, bump, bump, repeat, repeat, repeat.

Sometimes looking back, I feel as if I’ve lived many lives contained within this one life.  There were times I’d do the tango with life one minute, with purposeful and passionate moves.  Just when I thought I learned those steps, along comes a switch in the music and suddenly I would be doing the “jerk and the monkey”  switching from the erratic movements of the jerk to the flailing movements of the dance called the monkey and then back again.

The interesting thing is it took me half my life to realize I needed to take a look at the bigger picture as it related to the many times I found myself starting over.  Looking at the big picture and not the pieces, allowed me to see a common theme between the times of doing the tango and the times of doing the jerk and the monkey dance.

When you find yourself in a situation that is life changing, be it a break-up, a job loss or any loss that forces you to start over, the tendency is to look at the situation microscopically.  We move directly toward self blame or maybe even victimization (blaming others).  We begin to analyze and hash over; what you should have done, what you could have said, what they did or didn’t do. Our inclination is to stay in one gigantic pity party based on the micro facts of a situation.  We get stuck there and tell our story to any available willing listener, over and over like a broken record.  We remain focused primarily on the minute details of our current crisis.

I have in the past been in this stage of micro facts and pity parties more times than I care to count, until one day fatigue set in.  It was time to take a look at the big picture.  I had to ask myself some difficult questions.  The primary question I had to ask of myself is; what is the prevailing pattern or theme of my life that has placed me  in a position of having to start over?

For me the broken record was relationships.  Looking at the theme or bigger picture allowed me to see the similarity of the traits between each of the individuals I had attracted to my life over and over again.  Step two was asking the next question; what role did I play in attracting the same individual to my life as before?  Sure, they were different people but there was a common trait they each possessed.

Stepping out of the self blame game and the victim role enabled me to become my own observer.  Looking at the relationships as a whole (bigger picture)  and in a detached manner allowed me to see the common thread and the role I played in attracting the same relationships with the same outcome.  I had to choose to break the pattern thereby tossing out that broken record and redefine my approach going forward.

Whatever repeated pattern you are living with, I encourage you to reflect by looking at the pattern in a big picture way.  What are the similarities, the things that seem to return time after time?  What you will discover will be enlightening and you will have a new consciousness that will help you to break the pattern.

If you would like to learn how to be your own observer, I currently have an opening for a new learner.  You can start by requesting the Clean Sweep a free assessment that takes a look at four areas of your life or by taking a look at the 200 Top Toleration’s’ assessment available at www.freedomlifecoachingcompany.com .

You can contact me directly by visiting the contact page on the same website either by using the toll free number or via email.  If you know someone who would benefit from this information, please share it.  I welcome all comments on this blog and always welcome input or feedback.

Until next time.

Sue Birkam

Freedom Life Coaching Company

“Living to your fullest potential”

877.97Free1 (Toll Free Voice Mail )

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